I live at 9,660 feet in Colorado and received multiple 12”+ snowstorms in the past three weeks. I do my best to remain positive, because snow in May keeps the wildfires away. But it does take its toll on everyone after awhile.
After a wonderfully relaxing massage, I shoveled wet, heavy snow from the driveway. It was my attempt to please my husband and protect, Davin, my son from a former marriage.
As I shoveled, I thought about how the snow blower ran out of gas the morning before, and the gas can only had about a pint left in it, not enough to finish. Greg, my husband, knew there had been more gas left in the can and was certain Davin had used it. The nearest gas is 5 miles away, it was time for him to leave for work, and Davin was already at work. Greg left frustrated. Davin did use the gas; his car was empty, etc. I suggested he apologize and have a conversation with Greg. That didn’t happen as the excuse, or convenience, of their schedules keep them apart.
I felt the twinge of my neck muscles as they resisted my effort to clear the rapidly melting snow. I asked myself, “What the hell are you doing?” (I cuss a lot, it helps me to express and move emotion). I stopped shoveling.
The knowingness rushed through my expanded being. It’s time for me to stop being the peacemaker—the go-between messenger—a role I have played for the past fifteen years.
I set clear boundaries and informed Greg whenever he has an issue, concern, or request from Davin, he needs to communicate with him directly. I set the same boundary with Davin.
It’s extremely freeing to no longer feel responsible for the smoothness of their relationship. This is about them, not me.
I found the perfect Mother’s Day gift for me!