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Courage

Your Love Lifted Me Higher

The one-year anniversary is quickly approaching and he’s on my mind more than ever. Pangs of guilt hit me, as 20130508_145559I imagine scenarios in which I could have done things differently forcing a different outcome. I thought I had made peace with Dink’s death, but my attempt to recreate the past means a residue of suffering remains.

I remind myself of the many blessings received by his dramatic departure. He inspired the Freedom from Suffering Group Distance Healings and countless people (including furry friends) have benefited. He didn’t die in vain.

I silently request Dink give me a message, because it’s my loneliness for him that’s causing me to feel a loss. (more…)

My Wayward Son

Saturday, August 23, 2014, 7:57 AM

The vibration in my hand alerts me to a message as I unplug my cell phone. I open the screen and see a voicemail from my ex-husband. This can’t be good. I honestly didn’t expect to have a reason to speak to him until Davin’s wedding day in the far off future. There’s also a Facebook message from Dagan, Davin’s best friend stationed in California. Both asked me to call as soon as possible.

The sources did not add up, but together, I knew something happened to my son. (more…)

My One True Love

“Are you ready?” I tilt my head down to answer, his piercing blue eyes encounter me. What the hell was that?

imageI nod in confusion. Take in a deep breath, close my eyes, and squeeze Wendy’s hand inside mine. The needle punctures and moves through the clamped top of my navel. I exhale a sigh of relief, “That wasn’t so bad.” Fritz threads the ring, pulls the needle out, and inserts the bead in the center of the gold ring. (more…)

Because You Said So

It’s Saturday night, I put my nightgown with the little lavender flowers and my Pooh bear inside, close the lid and fasten the brass latch. My heart feels like it’s going to run away without me.

I grab the plastic handle on my royal blue suitcase and tiptoe to the front door. I slowimagely turn the knob. The lock releases and tries to tattle on me. No one comes.

I pull the wooden door across the lush green carpet and squeeze behind it to push open the screen door. I back outside without a breath or sound, and close both doors behind me. That was easy.

A “no,” simply “because I said so” won’t stop me. I’ll walk! (more…)

To Fear or Not to Fear?

Just like you, I wasn’t born with fear. I was influenced to this unnatural state through well-intentioned authority figures that had my best interests at heart. Like others had done for them. Simple cautionary advice—don’t go out after dark, don’t talk to strangers, obey these rules so you’ll get into heaven—soon became an unquestioned way of life.

The funny thing, when you live in a societal conditioned state of fear, you don’t even realize it. I fit right in with everyone else and shared the same beliefs. (more…)

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