Every month a new magazine wrapped in its secretive brown paper arrived. It would be carefully stashed under the couch, but within the reach of a curious little girl. “Playboy” was filled with pictures of thin women with large breasts in various awkward positions. Somewhat horrified and confused, I believed one day, I would look like the women that my dad admired.

To prepare, I stuffed tennis balls into my shirt and admired my boobs from different angles in the mirror. However, God reversed my curves. According to my aunt, my bubble butt came in when I was 18-months old, before my first molar. Being a white girl in Kansas, I did not appreciate my biggest asset. I knew one day my breasts would overshadow my derrière, but sadly that day never arrived. (more…)